The Cancer Fight
Don’t over extend yourself! You deserve an opportunity to recuperate. My husband managed to work until just about the VERY end of his cancer fight! We were so grateful to him for his desire to continue to participate in life, but to say this was putting too much on his plate is an understatement!
Of course this was his wish, as it gave him comfort in knowing he was continuing to provide for his family, as well as, keeping his mind sharp and busy.
Our doctor even suggested to stay working as long as possible, because she said she often saw quick declines in those who stopped doing. We were grateful he had the option to make his own choice.
Know Your Limits! It’s Okay To Just Be Okay!
food for thought
So lesson learned from our camp. My husband once even had a seizure right before the start of a remote, business meeting. He had to continue to put himself on mute throughout the call as he vomited!
Our kids were also on Zoom calls, as this was during COVID and they were also attending school remotely.
We all learned something that day. We learned that we all need to have limits and voice them. We all had to stop and be grateful for time together.
Save all of your energy for what you need right now- to take care of yourself! There will be a time when you will be able to again set others as priorities in your life, but for today, take the break and be grateful for time with loved ones.
Everyone needs a break sometimes and right now your hand is being forced, so take it as a gift and relax a little. It took me some time, but I finally figured out how to stop saying I’m fine and to start saying thank you.
Be Well! Set Limits! Be Okay.
Grief and Loss
For those of you who are grieving….
Biting off more than you can chew is probably a go-to habit you’ve formed (I know it was for me). Staying busy feels good because it distracts you from the hurt- I get it!
Grief needs to happen. You need to feel the loss.
One might say…
Am I saying stop avoiding? Nope! Actually for me distractions got me to the next day initially. Call it a coping mechanism, but it wasn’t complete avoidance.
Trust me I allowed the hurt, often. When you need a break, when it’s all too much, being distracted can help.
In my experience, distraction was good, but too much is still TOO MUCH!
Check out my blog, by clicking here, to read about the worst stretch of luck I could have imagined shortly after the passing of my husband. I take 100% ownership over most of it.
There are the things you have to handle, then there are the things you choose to pile on.
If you’re one of my subscribers I hope you’ve checked out my exclusive Facebook Group! By joining my group of subscribers, you can connect with other people who can relate to your struggles. Participate in our conversations and share your stories in a supportive place where you won’t be alone (or just listen in). I have no doubt that I’m not alone in the conveyor belt of garbage that piles on after loss.
So stay busy! Find one thing to be grateful for! Keep moving! Get out of bed and get dressed! Some days that might just be enough!
Some things you can avoid…. for now. Some things require your immediate attention. Figure out each day what you can take on. Make a list and feel real satisfaction in crossing out just one thing. Maybe tomorrow it’ll be two!
Just keep doing! Set boundaries! Don’t take on more than you’re ready for and remember that even if you’re ready to take on more, inevitably more will find you (especially in those first few months).
So move slow because sometimes the troubles come looking for you. So maybe keep just one hand open and ready to receive. After all juggling is a skill that you must soon master.
You’ve Got This!
Remember just in case you ever don’t….”got this”…. Call for help! I love the Mental Health Resources page on the Mental Health First Aid from NATIONAL COUNCIL FOR MENTAL WELLBEING site.
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